Wednesday, November 12, 2008

What We're Reading (so you don't have to) - Alcatraz versus The Scrivener's Bones.

Back in April, I warned all of our readers, particularly delicate and impressionable children in the 4th and 5th grades, that they should not waste their time with Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians.

I am highly disappointed in the good and wise citizens of Burbank that not only was the book read, it was read by these poor children as a selection of the Burbank Library 4th/5th Grade book club. And the author, seeking "good will" and "publicity," actually had the nerve to stop by the Burbank Library [see photographic proof below] to meet these poor misled children, give a "positive, fun and encouraging" talk, and sign copies of the offensive book...shocking! Some would call this nice, but me, I call it shocking...but not nearly as shocking as just how equally terrible to read is the second book in the Alcatraz series by Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz versus the Scrivener's Bones.

IF YOU ARE A SENSIBLE PERSON READ NO FURTHER. ALLOW ME, A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL LIBRARIAN [NOT EVIL, ASK AROUND] TO CLEARLY STATE THIS BOOK IS A WASTE OF TIME TO READ.

Oh sure, this supposedly true story by Alcatraz Smedry [who still breaks things, what a klutz] has danger, adventure, humor, character growth, flying glass dragons, deadly soul-sucking when-you-take-a-book-off-of-the-shelf Evil Librarians, battles, writer's diversions, new Smedry talents, narrow escapes, emotional reunions with long-lost family members and is fun to read. Do you really want children entertained and encouraged to enjoy reading? I mean c'mon, where is the serious ending with a dead dog? Besides, the author states that he is a liar [see pages 44 and 122] and holds readers of series fiction in disdain [see page 23].

I suppose that you'll just go ahead and read the book anyway--go ahead, try to enjoy it if you can find it, and would you like help in finding a book to take off of the shelf?...hehehehe, we can always use more souls....and whatever you do, do not anticipate and look forward to a third Alcatraz adventure and please, stay away from Brandon Sanderson's website. It also is boring and a great waste of your time.

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